Narrative of the Captivity of Mrs. Mary Rowlandson, 1682

The Soveraignty and Goodness of GOD, Together With the
Faithfulness of His Promises Displayed; Being a Narrative Of the Captivity and
Restauration of Mrs. Mary Rowlandson. Commended by her, to all that desires to
know the Lords doings to, and dealings with Her. Especially to her dear
Children and Relations. The second Addition Corrected and amended.1.

Written by Her own Hand for Her private Use, and now made
Publick at the earnest Desire of some Friends, and for the benefit of the
Aflicted.2.

Deut. 32. 29. See now that I, even I am he, and there is no
God with me; I kill and I make alive, I wound and I heal, neither is there any
can deliver out of my hand. Cambridge, Printed by Samuel Green, 1682.3.

THE PREFACE TO THE READER.

IT was on Tuesday, Feb. 1, 1675, in the afternoon, when
the Narrhagansets quarters (in or toward the Nipmug Country, whither they are
now retyred for fear of the English Army lying in their own Country) were the
second time beaten up, by the Forces of the united Colonies, who thereupon soon
betook themselves to flight, and were all the next day pursued by the English,
some overtaken and destroyed. But on Thursday, Feb. 3d, The English having now
been six dayes on their march, from their head quarters, at Wickford, in the
Narrhaganset Country, toward, and after the Enemy, and pro- vision grown
exceeding short, insomuch that they were fain to kill some Horses for the
supply, especially of their Indian friends, they were necessitated to consider
what was best to be done. And about noon (having hitherto followed the chase as
hard as they might) a Councill was called, and though come few were of another
mind, yet it was concluded by far the greater part of the Councill of War, that
the Army should desist the pursuit, and retire: the Forces of Plimouth and the
Bay to the next Town of the Bay, and Connecticut Forces to their own next
Towns; which determination was immediately put in execution. The consequent
whereof, as it was not difficult to be foreseen by those that knew the causless
enmity of there Barbarians, against the English, and the malicious and
revengefull spirit of there Heathen: so it soon Proved dismall. 4.

The Narrhagansets were now driven quite from their own
Country, and all their provisions there hoarded up, to which they durst not at
present return, and being so numerous as they were, soon devoured those to whom
they went, whereby both the one and other were now reduced to extream straits,
and so necessitated to take the first and best opportunity for supply, and very
glad, no doubt, of such an opportunity as this, to provide for themselves, and
make spoil of the English at once; and seeing themselves thus discharged of
their pursuers, and a little refreshed after their flight, the very next week
on Thursday, Feb. 10, they fell with mighty force and fury upon Lancaster:
which small Town, remote from aid of others, and not being Garisoned as it
might, the Army being now come in, and as the time indeed required (the design
of the Indians against that place being known to the English some time before)
was not able to make effectual resistance: but notwithstanding utmost endeavour
of the Inhabitants, most of the buildings were turned into ashes; many People
(Men, Women and Children) slain, and others captivated. The most solemn and
remarkable part of this Trajedy, may that justly be reputed, which fell upon
the Family of that reverend Servant of God, Mr. Joseph Rolandson, the faithfull
Pastor of Christ in that place, who being gone down to the Councill of the
Massachusets to seek aid for the defence of the place, at his return found the
Town in flames, or smoke, his own house being set on fire by the Enemy, through
the disadvantage of a defective Fortification, and all in it consumed: his
precious yokefellow, and dear Children, wounded and captivated (as the issue
evidenced, and following Narrative declares) by these cruel and barbarous
Salvages. A sad Catestrophe ! Thus all things come alike to all: None knows
either love or hatred by all that is before him. It is no new thing for Gods
precious ones to drink as deep as others, of the Cup of common Calamity: Take
just Lot (yet captivated) for instance beside others. But it is not my business
to dilate on these things, but only in few works introductively to preface to
the following script, which is a Narrative of the wonderfully awfull, wise,
holy, powerfull, and gracious providence of God, towards that worthy and
precious Gentlewoman, the dear Consort of the said Reverend Mr. Rowlandson, and
her Children with her, as in casting of her into such a waterless pit, so in
preserving, supporting, and carrying thorow so many such extream hazards,
unspeakable difficulties and disconsolateness, and at last delivering her out
of them all, and her surviving Children also. It was a strange and amazing
dispensation, that the Lord should so afflict his precious Servant, and Hand
maid. It was as strange, if not more, that he should so bear up the spirits of
his Servant under such bereavments and of his hand- maid under such captivity,
travels and hardships (much too hard for flesh and blood) as he did, and at
length deliver and restore. But he was their Saviour, who hath said,
When thou passest through the Waters, I will
be with thee, and throough the Rivers, they shall not over, flow thee: When
thou walkest through the Pire; thou shall not be burnt, nor shall the flame
kindle upon thee, Isa. 43. ver. 2. and again, He woundeth and his hands make
whole. He shall deliver thee in six troubles, yea in seven there shall no evil
touch thee. In Famine he shall redeem thee from Death, and in War from the
power of the sword. Job 5 : 18, 19, 20. Methinks this dispensation doth
bear some resemblance to those of Joseph, David and Daniel; yea, and of the
three Children too, the stories whereof do represent us with the excellent
textures of divine Providence, curious pieces of divine work: and truly so doth
this, and therefore not to be forgotten, but worthy to be exhibited to, and
viewed, and pondered by all, that disdain not to consider the operation of his
hands. 5.

The works of the Lord (not only of Creation, but of
Providence also, especially those that do more peculiarly concern his dear
ones, that are as the Apple of his Eye, as the Signet upon His Hand, the
Delight of his Eyes, and the Object of his tenderest Care) [are] great, sought
out of all those that have pleasure therein. And of these verily this is none
of the least. 6.

This Narrative was penned by the Gentlewoman her self, to
be to her a memorandum of Gods dealing with her, that she might never forget,
but remember the same, and the severall circumstances thereof, all the dayes of
her life. A pious scope which deserves both commendation and imitation. Some
friends having obtained a sight of it, could not but be so much affected with
the many passages of working providence discovered therein, as to judge it
worthy of publick view, and altogether unmeet that such works of God should be
hid from present and future Generations: And therefore though this Gentlewomans
modesty would not thrust it into the Press, yet her gratitude unto God made her
not hardly perswadable to let it pass, that God might have his due glory, and
others benefit by it as well as her self. I hope by this time none will cast
any reflection upon this Gentlewoman, on the score of this publication of her
affliction and deliverance. If any should, doubtless they may be reckoned with
the nine lepers, of whom it is said,
Were there not ten cleansed, where are the
nine? but one returning to give God thanks. Let such further know that
this was a dispensation of publick note, and of universall concernment, and so
much the more, by how much the nearer this Gentlewoman stood related to that
faith- full Servant of God, whose capacity and employment was pub- lick in the
house of God, and his name on that account of a very sweet savour in the
Churches of Christ, who, is there of a true Christian spirit, that did not look
upon himself much concerned in this bereavment, this Captivity in the time
thereof, and in his [this] deliverance when it came, yea more then in many
others; and how many are there, to whom so concerned, it will doubtless be a
very acceptable thing to see the way of God with this Gentlewoman in the
aforesaid dispensation, thus laid out and pourtrayed before their eyes. 7.

To conclude : whatever any coy phantasies may deem, yet it
highly concerns those that have so deeply tasted, how good the Lord is, to
enquire with David,
What shall I render the Lord for all his
benefits to me. Psal. 116. 12. He things nothing too great; yea, being
sensible of his own disproportion to the due praises of God he calls in help.
Oh, magnifie the Lord with me, let us exalt
his Name together, Psal. 34.3 And it is but reason, that our praises
should hold proportion with our prayers: and that as many hath helped together
by prayer for the obtaining of his Mercy, so praises should be returned by many
on this behalf; And forasmuch as not the generall but particular knowledge of
things makes deepest impression upon the affections, this Narrative
particularizing the several passages of this providence will not a little
conduce thereunto. And therefore holy David in order to the attainment of that
end, accounts himself concerned to declare what God had done for his soul,
Psal. 66. 16.
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I
will declare what God hath done for my soul, i. e. for his life, see v. 9, 10.
He holdeth our soul in life, and suffers not our feet to be moved, for thou our
God hast proved us, thou hast tryed us, as silver is tryed. Life-
mercies, are heart-affecting mercies, of great impression and force, to enlarge
pious hearts, in the praises of God, so that such know not how but to talk of
Gods acts, and to speak of and publish his wonderfull works. Deep troubles,
when the waters come in unto thy soul, are wont to produce vowes: vowes must be
paid. It is better not vow, than vow and not to pay. I may say, that as none
knows what it is to fight and pursue such an enemy as this, but they that have
fought and pursued them: so none can imagine what it is to be captivated and
enslaved to such atheisticall, proud, wild, cruel, barbarous bruitish (in one
word) diabolicall creatures as these, the worst of the heathen; nor what
difficulties, hardships, hazards, sorrows, anxieties and perplexities do
unavoidably wait upon such a condition, but those that have tryed it. No
serious spirit then (especially knowing any thing of this Gentlewomans piety)
can imagine but that the vows of God are upon her. Excuse her then if she come
thus into publick, to pay, those vows, come and hear what she hath to say. 8.

I am confident that no Friend of divine Providence will ever
repent his time and pains spent in reading over these sheets, but will judg
them worth perusing again and again. 9.

Hear Reader, you may see an instance of the Soveraignty of
God, who doth what he will with his own as well as others; and who may say to
him, What dost thou? Here you may see an instance of the faith and patience of
the Saints, under the most heart-sinking tryals; here you may see, the promises
are breasts full of consolation, when all the world besides is empty, and gives
nothing but sorrow. That God is indeed the supream Lord of the world, ruling
the most unruly, weakening the most cruel and salvage, granting his People
mercy in the sight of the unmercifull, curbing the lusts of the most filthy,
holding the hands of the violent, delivering the prey from the mighty, and
gathering together the out casts of Israel. Once and again you have heard, but
hear you may see, that power belongeth unto God; that our God is the God of
Salvation, and to him belong the issues from Death. That our God is in the
Heavens, and doth whatever pleases him. Here you have Sampson Riddle I
examplified, and that great promise, Rom. 8. 28, verified,
Out of the Eater comes forth meat, and
sweetness out of the strong; The worst of evils working together for
the best good. How evident is it that the Lord hath made this Gentlewoman a
gainer by all this affliction, that she can say, ’tis good for her yea better
that she hath been, then that she should not have been thus afflicted.10.

Oh how doth God shine forth in such things as these!11.

Reader, if thou gettest no good by such a Declaration as
this, the fault must needs be thine own. Read therefore, Peruse, Ponder, and
from hence lay by something from the experience of another against thine own
turn comes, that so thou also through patience and consolation of the Scripture
mayest have hope.12.

A NARRATIVE OF THE CAPTIVITY AND RESTAURATION OF MRS. MARY ROWLANDSON

ON the tenth of February 1675, Came the Indians with great
numbers upon Lancaster: Their first coming was about Sun-rising; hearing the
noise of some Guns, we looked out; several Houses were burning, and the Smoke
ascending to Heaven. There were five persons taken in one house, the Father,
and the Mother and a sucking Child, they knockt on the head; the other two they
took and carried away alive. Their were two others, who being out of their
Garison upon some occasion were set upon; one was knockt on the head, the other
escaped: Another their was who running along was shot and wounded, and fell
down; he begged of them his life, promising them Money (as they told me) but
they would not hearken to him but knockt him in head, and stript him naked, and
split open his Bowels. Another seeing many of the Indians about his Barn,
ventured and went out, but was quickly shot down. There were three others
belonging to the same Garison who were killed; the Indians getting up upon the
roof of the Barn, had advantage to shoot down upon them over their
Fortification. Thus these murtherous wretches went on, burning, and destroying
before them. 13.

At length they came and beset our own house, and quickly
it was the dolefullest day that ever mine eyes saw. The House stood upon the
edg of a hill; some of the Indians got behind the hill, others into the Barn,
and others behind any thing that could shelter them; from all which places they
shot against the House, so that the Bullets seemed to fly like hail; and
quickly they wounded one man among us, then another, and then a third, About
two hours (according to my observation, in that amazing time) they had been
about the house before they prevailed to fire it (which they did with Flax and
Hemp, which they brought out of the Barn, and there being no defence about the
House, only two Flankers at two opposite corners and one of them not finished)
they fired it once and one ventured out and quenched it, but they quickly fired
it again, and that took. Now is the dreadfull hour come, that I have often
heard of (in time of War, as it was the case of others) but now mine eyes see
it. Some in our house were fighting for their lives, others wallowing in their
blood, the House on fire over our heads, and the bloody Heathen ready to knock
us on the head, if we stirred out. Now might we hear Mothers and Children
crying out for themselves, and one another, Lord, What shall we do? Then I took
my Children (and one of my sisters, hers) to go forth and leave the house : but
as soon as we came to the dore and appeared, the Indians shot so thick that the
bulletts rattled against the House, as if one had taken an handfull of stones
and threw them, so that we were fain to give back. We had six stout Dogs
belonging to our Garrison, but none of them would stir, though another time, if
any Indian had come to the door, they were ready to fly upon him and tear him
down. The Lord hereby would make us the more to acknowledge his hand, and to
see that our help is always in him. But out we must go, the fire increasing,
and coming along behind us, roaring, and the Indians gaping before us with
their Guns, Spears and Hatchets to devour us. No sooner were we out of the
House, but my Brother in Law (being before wounded, in defending the house, in
or near the throat) fell down dead, wherat the Indians scornfully shouted, and
hallowed, and were presently upon him, stripping off his cloaths, the bulletts
flying thick, one went through my side, and the same (as would seem) through
the bowels and hand of my dear Child in my arms. One of my elder Sisters
Children, named William, had then his Leg broken, which the Indians perceiving,
they knockt him on head. Thus were we butchered by those merciless Heathen,
standing amazed, with the blood running down to our heels. My eldest Sister
being yet in the House, and seeing those wofull sights, the Infidels haling
Mothers one way, and Children another, and some wallowing in their blood: and
her elder Son telling her that her Son William was dead, and my self was
wounded, she said, And, Lord, let me dy with them; which was no sooner said,
but she was struck with a Bullet, and fell down dead over the threshold. I hope
she is reaping the fruit of her good labours, being faithfull to the service of
God in her place. In her younger years she lay under much trouble upon
spiritual accounts, till it pleased God to make that precious Scripture take
hold of her heart, 2 Cor. 12. 9.
And he said unto me, my Grace is sufficient
for thee. More then twenty years after I have heard her tell how sweet
and comfortable that place was to her. But to return: The Indians laid hold of
us, pulling me one way, and the Children another, and said, Come go along with
us; I told them they would kill me: they answered, If I were willing to go
along with them, they would not hurt me.14.

Oh the dolefull sight that now was to behold at this
House!
Come, behold the works of the Lord, what
dissolations he has made in the Earth. Of thirty seven persons who were
in this one House, none escaped either present death, or a bitter captivity,
save only one, who might say as he, Job 1. 15,
And I only am escaped alone to tell the
News. There were twelve killed, some shot, some stab’d with their
Spears, some knock’d down with their Hatchets. When we are in prosperity, Oh
the little that we think of such dreadfull sights, and to see our dear Friends,
and Relations ly bleeding out their heart-blood upon the ground. There was one
who was chopt into the head with a Hatchet, and stript naked, and yet was
crawling up and down. It is a solemn sight to see so many Christians lying in
their blood, some here, and some there, like a company of Sheep torn by Wolves,
All of them stript naked by a company of hell-hounds, roaring, singing, ranting
and insulting, as if they would have torn our very hearts out; yet the Lord by
his Almighty power preserved a number of us from death, for there were
twenty-four of us taken alive and carried Captive. 15.

I had often before this said, that if the Indians should
come, I should chuse rather to be killed by them then taken alive but when it
came to the tryal my mind changed; their glittering weapons so daunted my
spirit, that I chose rather to go along with those (as I may say) ravenous
Beasts, then that moment to end my dayes; and that I may the better declare
what happened to me during that grievous Captivity, I shall particularly speak
of the severall Removes we had up and down the Wilderness. 16.

The first Remove.

Now away we must go with those Barbarous Creatures, with
our bodies wounded and bleeding, and our hearts no less than our bodies. About
a mile we went that night, up upon a hill within sight of the Town, where they
intended to lodge. There was hard by a vacant house (deserted by the English
before, for fear of the Indians). I asked them whither I might not lodge in the
house that night to which they answered, what will you love English men still
this was the dolefullest night that ever my eyes saw. Oh the roaring, and
singing and danceing, and yelling of those black Creatures in the night, which
made the place a lively resemblance of hell. And as miserable was the wast that
was there made, of Horses, Cattle, Sheep, Swine, Calves, Lambs, Roasting Pigs,
and Fowl (which they had plundered in the Town) some roasting, some lying and
burning, and some boyling to feed our merciless Enemies; who were joyful enough
though we were disconsolate. To add to the dolefulness of the former day, and
the dismalness of the present night: my thoughts ran upon my losses and sad
bereaved condition. All was gone, my Husband gone (at least separated from me,
he being in the Bay; and to add to my grief, the Indians told me they would
kill him as he came homeward) my Children gone, my Relations and Friends gone,
our House and home and all our comforts within door, and without, all was gone,
(except my life) and I knew not but the next moment that might go too. There
remained nothing to me but one poor wounded Babe, and it seemed at present I
worse than death that it was in such a pitiful condition, bespeaking
Compassion, and I had no refreshing for it, nor suitable things to revive it.
Little do many think what is the I savageness and bruitishness of this
barbarous Enemy, I, even those that seem to profess more than others among
them, when the English have fallen into their hands. 17.

Those seven that were killed at Lancaster the summer
before upon a Sabbath day, and the one that was afterward killed upon a week
day, were slain and mangled in a barbarous manner, by one-ey’d John, and
Marlborough’s Praying Indians, which Capt. Mosely brought to Boston, as the
Indians told me. 18.

The second Remove.

But now, the next morning, I must turn my back upon the
Town, and travel with them into the vast and desolate wilderness, I knew not
whither. It is not my tongue, or pen can express the sorrows of my heart, and
bitterness of my spirit, that I had at this departure: but God was with me, in
a wonderfull manner, carrying me along, and bearing up my spirit, that it did
not quite fail. One of the Indians carried my poor wounded Babe upon a horse,
it went moaning all along, I shall dy, I shall dy. I went on foot after it,
with sorrow that cannot be exprest. At length I took it off the horse, and
carried it in my armes till my strength failed, and I fell down with it: Then
they set me upon a horse with my wounded Child in my lap, and there being no
furniture upon the horse back, as we were going down a steep hill, we both fell
over the horses head, at which they like inhumane creatures laught, and
rejoyced to see it, though I thought we should there have ended our dayes, as
overcome with so many difficulties. But the Lord renewed my strength still, and
carried me along, that I might see more of his Power; yea, so much that I could
never have thought of, had I not experienced it. 19.

After this it quickly began to snow, and when night came
on, they stopt: and now down I must sit in the snow, by a little fire, and a
few boughs behind me, with my sick Child in my lap; and calling much for water,
being now (through the wound) fallen into a violent Fever. My own wound also
growing so stiff, that I could scarce sit down or rise up; yet so it must be,
that I must sit all this cold winter night upon the cold snowy ground, with my
sick Child in my armes, looking that every hour would be the last of its life;
and having no Christian friend near me, either to comfort or help me. Oh, I may
see the wonderfull power of God, that my Spirit did not utterly sink under my
affliction : still the Lord upheld me with his gracious and mercifull Spirit,
and we were both alive to see the light of the next morning. 20.

The third remove.

The morning being come, they prepared to go on their
way. One of the Indians got up upon a horse, and they set me up behind him,
with my poor sick Babe in my lap. A very wearisome and tedious day I had of it;
what with my own wound, and my Childs being so exceeding sick, and in a
lamentable condition with her wound. It may be easily judged what a poor feeble
condition we were in, there being not the least crumb of refreshing that came
within either of our months, from Wednesday night to Saturday night, except
only a little cold water. This day in the afternoon, about an hour by Sun, we
came to the place where they intended, viz. an Indian Town, called Wenimesset,
Norward of Quabaug. When we were come, Oh the number of Pagans (now merciless
enemies) that there came about me, that I may say as David, Psal. 27. 13,
I had fainted, unless I had
believed, etc. The next day was the Sabbath: I then remembered how
careless I had been of Gods holy time, how many Sabbaths I had lost and
mispent, and how evily I had walked in Gods sight; which lay so close unto my
spirit, that it was easie for me to see how righteous it was with God to cut
off the thread of my life, and cast me out of his presence for ever. Yet the
Lord still shewed mercy to me, and upheld me; and as he wounded me with one
hand, so he healed me with the other. This day there came to me one Robbert
Pepper (a man belonging to Roxbury) who was taken in Captain Beers his Fight,
and had been now a considerable time with the Indians; and up with them almost
as far as Albany, to see king Philip, as he told me, and was now very lately
come into these parts. Hearing, I say, that I was in this Indian Town, he
obtained leave to come and see me. He told me, he himself was wounded in the
leg at Captain Beers his Fight; and was not able some time to go, but as they
carried him, and as he took Oaken leaves and laid to his wound, and through the
blessing of God he was able to travel again. Then I took Oaken leaves and laid
to my side, and with the blessing of God it cured me also; yet before the cure
was wrought, I may say, as it is in Psal. 38. 5, 6.
My wounds stink and are corrupt, I am
troubled, I am bowed down greatly, I go mourning all the day long. I
sat much alone with a poor wounded Child in my lap, which moaned night and day,
having nothing to revive the body, or cheer the spirits of her, but in stead of
that, sometimes one Indian wound come and tell me one hour, that your Master
will knock your Child in the head, and then a second, and then a third, your
Master will quickly knock your Child in the head. 21.

This was the comfort I had from them, miserable
comforters are ye all, as he said. Thus nine dayes I sat upon my knees, with my
Babe in my lap, till my flesh was raw again; my Child being even ready to
depart this sorrowfull world, they bade me carry it out to another Wigwam (I
suppose because they wound not be troubled with such spectacles) Whither I went
with a very heavy heart, and down I sat with the picture of death in my lap.
About two houres in the night, my sweet Babe like a Lambe departed this life,
on Feb. 18, 1675. It being about six yeares, and five months old. It was nine
dayes from the first wounding, in this miserable condition, without any
refreshing of one nature or other, except a little cold water. I cannot, but
take notice, how at another time I could not bear to be in the room where any
dead person was, but now the case is changed; I must and could ly down by my
dead Babe, side by side all the night after. I have thought since of the
wonderfull goodness of God to me, in preserving me in the use of my reason and
senses, in that distressed time, that I did not use wicked and violent means to
end my own miser- able life. In the morning, when they understood that my child
was dead they sent for me home to my Masters Wigwam: (by my Master in this
writing, must be understood Quanopin, who was a Saggamore, and married King
Phillips wives Sister; not that he first took me, but I was sold to him by
another Narrhaganset Indian, who took me when first I came out of the Garison).
I went to take up my dead child in my arms to carry it with me, but they bid me
let it alone : there was no resisting, but goe I must and leave it. When I had
been at my masters wigwam I took the first opportunity I could get, to go look
after my) dead child: when I came I askt them what they had done with it? then
they told me it was upon the hill: then they went and shewed me where it was,
where I saw the ground was newly digged, and there they told me they had buried
it: There I left that Child in the Wilderness, and must commit it, and my self
also in this Wilderness-condition, to him who is above all. God having taken
away this dear Child, I went to see my daughter Mary, who was at this same
Indian Town, at a Wigwam not very far off, though we had little liberty or
opportunity to see one another. She was about ten years old and taken from the
door at first by a Praying Ind and afterward sold for a gun. When I came in
sight, she would fall a weeping; at which they were provoked, and would not let
me come near her, but bade me be gone; which was a heart-cutting word to me. I
had one Child dead, another in the Wilderness, I knew not where, the third they
would not let me come near to:
Me (as he said)
have ye bereaved of my Children, Joseph is
not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin also, all these things are
against me. I could not sit still in this condition, but kept walking
from one place to another. And as I was going along, my heart was even
overwhelm’d with the thoughts of my condition, and that I should have Children,
and a Nation which I knew not ruled over them. Whereupon I earnestly entreated
the Lord, that he would consider my low estate, and shew me a token for good,
and if it were his blessed will, some sign and hope of some relief. And indeed
quickly the Lord answered, in some measure, my poor prayers: for as I was going
up and down mourning and lamenting my condition my Son came to me, and asked me
how I did; I had not seen him before since the destruction of the Town, and I
knew not where he was, till I was informed by himself, that he was amongst a
smaller percel of Indians, whose place was about six miles off; with tears in
his eyes, he asked me whether his Sister Sarah was dead; and told me he had
seen his Sister Mary; and prayed me, that I would not be troubled in reference
to himself. The occasion of his coming to see me at this time, was this: There
was, as I said, about six miles from us, a smal Plantation of Indians, where it
seems he had been during his Captivity: and at this time, there were some
Forces of the Ind. gathered out of our company, and some also from them (among
whom was my Sons master) to go to assault and burn Medfield: In this time of
the absence of his master, his dame brought him to see me. I took this to be
some gracious answer to my earnest and unfeigned desire. The next day, viz. to
this, the Indians returned from Medfield, all the company, for those that
belonged to the other smal company, came thorough the Town that now we were at.
But before they came to us, Oh! the outragious roaring and hooping that there
was: They began their din about a mile before they came to us. By their noise
and hooping they signified how many they had destroyed (which was at that time
twenty three.) Those that were with us at home, were gathered together as soon
as they heard the hooping, and every time that the other went over their
number, these at home gave a shout, that the very Earth rung again: And thus
they continued till those that had been upon the expedition were come up to the
Sagamores Wigwam; and then, Oh, the hideous insulting and triumphing that there
was over some Englishmens scalps that they had taken (as their manner is) and
brought with them. I cannot but take notice of the wonderfull mercy of God to
me in those afflictions, in sending me a Bible. One of the Indians that came
from Medfield fight, had brought some plunder, came to me, and asked me, if I
would have a Bible, he had got one in his Basket. I was glad of it, and asked
him, whether he thought the Indians would let me read? he answered, yes: So I
took the Bible, and in that melancholy time, it came into my mind to read first
the 28. Chap. of Deut.,2 which I did, and when I had read it, my dark heart
wrought on this manner, That there was no mercy for me, that the blessings were
gone, and the curses come in their room, and that I had lost my opportunity.
But the Lord helped me still to go on reading till I came to Chap. 30 the seven
first verses, where I found, There was mercy promised again, if we would return
to him by repentance; and though we were scatered from one end of the Earth to
the other, yet the Lord would gather us together, and turn all those curses
upon our Enemies. I do not desire to live to forget this Scripture, and what
comfort it was to me. 22.

Now the Ind. began to talk of removing from this place,
some one way, and some another. There were now besides my self nine English
Captives in this place (all of them Children, except one Woman). I got an
opportunity to go and take my leave of them; they being to go one way, and I
an- other, I asked them whether they were earnest with God for deliverance,
they told me, they did as they were able, and it was some comfort to me, that
the Lord stirred up Children to look to him. The Woman viz. Goodwife Joslin
told me, she should never see me again, and that she could find in her heart to
run away; I wisht her not to run away by any means, for we were near thirty
miles from any English Town, and she very big with Child, and had but one week
to reckon; and an- other Child in her Arms, two years old, and bad Rivers there
were to go over, and we were feeble, with our poor and course entertainment. I
had my Bible with me, I pulled it out, and asked her whether she would read; we
opened the Bible and lighted on Psal. 27, in which Psalm we especially took
notice of that, ver. ult.,
Wait on the Lord, Be of good courage, and he
shall strengthen thine Heart, wait I say on the Lord.23.

The fourth Remove.

And now I must part with that little Company I had. Here
I parted from my Daughter Mary, (whom I never saw again till I saw her in
Dorchester, returned from Captivity), and from four little Cousins and
Neighbours, some of which I never saw afterward: the Lord only knows the end of
them. Amongst them also was that poor Woman before mentioned, who came to a sad
end, as some of the company told me in my travel: She having much grief upon
her Spirit, about her miserable condition, being so near her time, she would be
often asking the Indians to let her go home; they not being willing to that,
and yet vexed with her importunity, gathered a great company together about
her, and stript her naked, and set her in the midst of them; and when they had
sung and danced about her (in their hellish manner) as long as they pleased,
they knockt her on head, and the Child in her arms with her: when they had done
that, they made a fire and put them both into it, and told the other Children
that were with them, that if they attempted to go home, they would serve them
in like manner: The Children said, she did not shed one tear, but prayed all
the while. But to return to my own Journey; we travelled about half a day or
little more, and came to a desolate place in the Wilderness, where there were
no Wigwams or Inhabitants before; we came about the middle of the after- noon
to this place, cold and wet, and snowy, and hungry, and weary, and no
refreshing, for man, but the cold ground to sit on, and our poor Indian
cheer.24.

Heart-aking thoughts here I had about my poor Children,
who were scattered up and down among the wild beasts of the forrest: My head
was light and dissey (either through hunger or hard lodging, or trouble or
altogether) my knees feeble, my body raw by sitting double night and day, that
I cannot ex- press to man the afiliction that lay upon my Spirit, but the Lord
helped me at that time to express it to himself. I opened my Bible to read, and
the Lord brought that precious Scripture to me, Jer. 31. 16.
Thus saith the Lord, refrain thy voice from
weeping, and thine eyes from tears, for thy work shall be rewarded, and they
shall come again from the land of the Enemy. This was a sweet Cordial
to me, when I was ready to faint, many and many a time have I sat down, and
weept sweetly over this Scripture. At this place we continued about four
dayes.25.

The fifth Remove.

The occasion (as I thought) of their moving at this time,
was, the English Army, it being near and following them: For they went, as if
they had gone for their lives, for some considerable way, and then they made a
stop, and chose some of their stoutest men, and sent them back to hold the
English Army in play whilst the rest escaped : And then, like Jehu, they
marched on furiously, with their old, and with their young: some carried their
old decrepit mothers, some carried one, and some another. Four of them carried
a great Indian upon a Bier; but going through a think Wood with him, they were
hindered, and could make no hast; whereupon they took him upon their backs, and
carried him, one at a time, till they came to Bacquaug River. Upon a Friday, a
little after noon we came to this River. When all the company was come up, and
were gathered together, I thought to count the number of them, but they were so
many, and being somewhat in motion, it was beyond my skil. In this travel,
because of my wound, I was somewhat favoured in my load; I carried only my
knitting work and two quarts of parched meal: Being very faint I asked my
mistriss, to give me one spoonfull of the meal, but she would not give me a
taste. They quickly fell to cutting dry trees, to make Rafts to carry them over
the river: and soon my turn came to go over: By the advantage of some brush
which they had laid upon the Raft to sit upon, I did not wet my foot (which
many of themselves at the other end were mid-leg deep) which cannot but be
acknowledged as a favour of God to my weakned body, it being a very cold time.
I was not before acquainted with such kind of doings or dangers.
When thou passeth through the waters I will
be with thee, and through the Rivrs they shall not overflow thee, Isai.
43. 2. A certain number of us got over the River that night, but it was the
night after the Sabbath before all the company was got over. On the Saturday
they boyled an old Horses leg which they had got, and so we drank of the broth,
as soon as they thought it was ready, and when it was almost all gone, they
filled it up again.26.

The first week of my being among them, I hardly ate any
thing; the second week, I found my stomach grow very faint for want of
something; and yet it was very hard to get down their filthy trash: but the
third week, though I could think how formerly my stomach would turn against
this or that, and 1 could starve and dy before I could eat such things, yet
they were sweet and savoury to my taste. I was at this time knitting a pair of
white cotton stockins for my mistriss; and had not yet wrought upon a Sabbath
day; when the Sabbath came they bade me go to work; I told them it was the
Sabbath- day, and desired them to let me rest, and told them I would do as much
more to morrow; to which they answered me, they would break my face. And here I
cannot but take notice of the strange providence of God in preserving the
heathen They were many hundreds, old and young, some sick, and some lame, many
had Papooses at their backs, the greatest number at this time with us, were
Squaws, and they travelled with all they had, bag and baggage, and yet they got
over this River aforesaid; and on Munday they set their Wigwams on fire, and
away they went : On that very day came the English Army after them to this
River, and saw the smoak of their Wigwams, and yet this River put a stop to
them. God did not give them courage or activity to go over after us; we were
not ready for so great a mercy as victory and deliverance; if we had been, God
would have found out a way for the English to have passed this River, as well
as for the Indians with their Squaws and Children, and all their Luggage.
Oh that my People had hearkened to me, and
Israel had walked in my ways, I should soon have subdued their Enemies, and
turned my hand against their Adversaries, Psal. 81: 13. 14.27.

The sixth Remove.

On Munday (as I said) they set their Wigwams on fire, and
went away. It was a cold morning, and before us there was a great Brook with
ice on it; some waded through it, up to the knees and higher, but others went
till they came to a Beaver-dam, and 1 amongst them, where through the good
providence of God, 1 did not wet my foot. I went along that day mourning and
lamenting, leaving farther my own Country, and travelling into the vast and
howling Wilderness, and I understood something of Lot’s Wife’s Temptation, when
she looked back: we came that day to a great Swamp, by the side of which we
took up our lodging that night. When I came to the brow of the hil, that looked
toward the Swamp, I thought we had been come to a great Indian Town (though
there were none but our own Company) The Indians were as thick as the trees: it
seemed as if there had been a thousand Hatchets going at once: if one looked
before one, there was nothing but Indians, and behind one, nothing but Indians,
and so on either hand, I my self in the midst, and no Christian soul near me,
and yet how hath the Lord preserved me in safety Oh the experience that I have
had of the goodness of God, to me and mine!28.

The seventh Remove.

After a restless and hungry night there, we had a
wearisome time of it the next day. The Swamp by which we lay, was, as it were,
a deep Dungeon, and an exceeding high and steep hill before it. Before I got to
the top of the hill, I thought my heart and legs, and all would have broken,
and failed me. What through faintness, and soreness of body, it was a grievous
day of travel to me. As we went along, I saw a place where English Cattle had
been: that was comfort to me, such as it was: quickly after that we came to an
English Path, which so took with me, that I thought I could have freely lyen
down and dyed. That day, a little after noon, we came to Squauk- heag, where
the Indians quickly spread themselves over the deserted English Fields,
gleaning what they could find; some pickt up ears of Wheat that were crickled
down, some found ears of Indian Corn, some found Ground-nuts, and others
sheaves of Wheat that were frozen together in the shock, and went to threshing
of them out. My self got two ears of Indian Corn, and whilst I did but turn my
back, one of them was stolen from me, which much troubled me. There came an
Indian to them at that time, with a basket of Horse-liver. I asked him to give
me a piece: What, sayes he, can you eat Horse-liver I told him, I would try, if
he would give a piece, which he did, and I laid it on the coals to rost; but
before it was half ready they got half of it away from me, so that I was fain
to take the rest and eat it as it was, with the blood about my mouth, and yet a
savoury bit it was to me:
For to the hungry Soul every bitter thing is
sweet. A solemn sight methought it was, to see Fields of wheat and
Indian Corn for- saken and spoiled: and the remainders of them to be food for
our merciless Enemies. That night we had a mess of wheat for our Supper.29.

The eight Remove

On the morrow moaning we must go over the River, i. e.
Connecticot, to meet with King Philip; two Cannoos full, they had carried over,
the next Turn I my self was to go; but as my foot was upon the Cannoo to step
in, there was a sudden out-cry among them, and I must step back; and instead of
going over the River, I must go four or five miles up the River farther
Northward. Some of the Indians ran one way, and some another. The cause of this
rout was, as I thought, their espying some English Scouts, who were thereabout.
In this travel up the River, about noon the Company made a stop, and sate down;
some to eat, and others to rest them. As I sate amongst them, musing of things
past, my Son Joseph unexpectedly came to me: we asked of each others welfare,
bemoaning our dolefull condition, and the change that had come upon uss. We had
Husband and Father, and Children, and Sisters, and Friends, and Relations, and
House, and Home, and many Comforts of this Life: but now we may say, as Job,
Naked came I out of my Mothers Womb, and
naked shall I return: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, Blessed be
the Name of the Lord. I asked him whither he would read; he told me, he
earnest1y desired it, I gave him. my Bible, and he lighted upon that
comfortable Scripture, Psal. 118. 17, 18.
I shall not dy but live, and declare the
works of the Lord: the Lord hath chastened me sore, yet he hath not given me
over to death. Look here, Mother (sayes he) did you read this And here
I may take occasion to mention one principal) ground of my setting forth these
Lines: even as the Psalmist sayes, To declare the Works of the Lord, and his
wonderfull Power in carrying us along, preserving us in the Wilderness, while
under the Enemies hand, and returning of us in safety again, And His goodness
in bringing to my hand so many comfort- able and suitable Scriptures in my
distress. But to Return, We travelled on till night; and in the morning, we
must go over the River to Philip’s Crew. When I was in the Cannoo, I could not
but be amazed at the numerous crew of Pagans that were on the Bank on the other
side. When I came ashore, they gathered all about me, I sitting alone in the
midst : I observed they asked one another questions, and laughed, and rejoyced
over their Gains and Victories. Then my heart began to fail: and I fell a
weeping which was the first time to my remembrance, that I wept before them.
Although I had met with so much Affliction, and my heart was many times ready
to break, yet could I not shed one tear in their sight: but rather had been all
this while in a maze, and like one astonished : but now I may say as, Psal.
137. 1.
By the Rivers of Babylon, there we sate
down: yea, we wept when we remembered Zion. There one of them asked me,
why I wept, I could hardly tell what to say: yet I answered, they would kill
me: No, said he, none will hurt you. Then came one of them and gave me two
spoon-fulls of Meal to comfort me, and another gave me half a pint of Pease;
which was more worth than many Bushels at another time. Then I went to see King
Philip, he bade me come in and sit down, and asked me whether I would smoke it
(a usual Complement nowadayes amongst Saints and Sinners) but this no way
suited me. For though I had formerly used Tobacco, yet I had left it ever since
I was first taken. It seems to be a Bait, the Devil layes to make men loose
their precious time: I remember with shame, how formerly, when I had taken two
or three pipes, I was presently ready for another, such a bewitching thing it
is: But I thank God, he has now given me power over it; surely there are many
who may be better imployed than to ly sucking a stinking Tobacco-pipe.30.

Now the Indians gather their Forces to go against
North-Hampton: over-night one went about yelling and hooting to give notice of
the design. Whereupon they fell to boyling of Ground-nuts, and parching of Corn
(as many as had it) for their Provision: and in the morning away they went.
During my abode in this place, Philip spake to me to make a shirt for his boy,
which I did, for which he gave me a shilling: I offered the mony to my master,
but he bade me keep it : and with it I bought a piece of Horse flesh.
Afterwards he asked me to make a Cap for his boy, for which he invited me to
Dinner. I went, and he gave me a Pancake, about as big as two fingers; it was
made of parched wheat, beaten, and fryed in Bears grease, but I thought I never
tasted pleasanter meat in my life. There was a Squaw who spake to me to make a
shirt for her Sannup, for which she gave me a piece of Bear. Another asked me
to knit a pair of Stockins, for which she gave me a quart of Pease : I boyled
my Pease and Bear together, and invited my master and mistriss to dinner, but
the proud Gossip, because I served them both in one Dish, would eat nothing,
except one bit that he gave her upon the point of his knife. Hearing that my
son was come to this place, I went to see him, and found him lying flat upon
the ground: I asked him how he could sleep so he answered me, That he was not
asleep, but at Prayer; and lay so, that they might not observe what he was
doing. I pray God he may remember these things now he is returned in safety. At
this Place (the Sun now getting higher) what with the beams and heat of the
Sun, and the smoak of the Wigwams, I thought I should have been blind. I could
scarce discern one Wigwam from another. There was here one Mary Thurston of
Medfield, who seeing how it was with me, lent me a Hat to wear: but as soon as
I was gone, the Squaw (who owned that Mary Thurston) came running after me, and
got it away again. Here was the Squaw that gave me one spoonfull of Meal. I put
it in my Pocket to keep it safe: yet notwithstanding some body stole it, but
put five Indian Corns in the room of it : which Corns were the greatest
Provisions I had in my travel for one day.31.

The Indians returning from North-Hampton, brought with
them some Horses, and Sheep, and other things which they had taken: I desired
them, that they would carry me to Albany, upon one of those Horses, and sell me
for Powder: for so they had sometimes discoursed. I was utterly hopless of
getting home on foot, the way that I came. I could hardly bear to think of the
many weary steps I had taken, to come to this place.32.

The ninth Remove.

But in stead of going either to Albany or homeward, we
must go five miles up the River, and then go over it. Here we abode a while.
Here lived a sorry Indian, who spoke to me to make him a shirt. When I had done
it, he would pay me nothing. But he living by the River side, where I often
went to fetch water, I would often be putting of him in mind, and calling for
my pay: at last he told me if I would make another shirt, for a Papoos not yet
born, he would give me a knife, which he did when I had done it. I carried the
knife in, and my master asked me to give it him, and I was not a little glad
that I had any thing that they would accept of, and be pleased with. When we
were at this place, my Masters maid came home, she had been gone three weeks
into the Narrhaganset Country, to fetch Corn, where they had stored up some in
the ground: she brought home about a peck and hall of Corn. This was about the
time that their great Captain, Naananto, was killed in the Narrhaganset
Countrey. My Son being now about a mile from me, I asked liberty to go and see
him, they bade me go, and away I went : but quickly lost my self, travel- ling
over Hills and thorough Swamps, and could not find the way to him. And I cannot
but admire at the wonderfull power and goodness of God to me, in that, though I
was gone from home, and met with all sorts of Indians, and those I had no
knowledge of, and there being no Christian soul near me; yet not one of them
offered the least imaginable miscarriage to me. I turned homeward again, and
met with my master, he shewed me the way to my Son: When I came to him I found
him not well: and withall he had a boyl on his side, which much troubled him:
We bemoaned one another awhile, as the Lord helped us, and then I returned
again. When I was returned, I found my self as unsatisfied as I was before. I
went up and down mourning and lamenting : and my spirit was ready to sink, with
the thoughts of my poor Children my Son was ill, and I could not but think of
his mournfull looks, and no Christian Friend was near him, to do any office of
love for him, either for Soul or Body. And my poor Girl, I knew not where she
was, nor whither she was sick, or well, or alive, or dead. I repaired under
these thoughts to my Bible (my great comfort in that time) and that Scripture
came to my hand,
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall
sustain thee, Psal. 55. 22.33.

But I was fain to go and look after something to satisfie
my hunger, and going among the Wigwams, I went into one, and there found a
Squaw who shewed her self very kind to me, and gave me a piece of Bear. I put
it into my pocket, and came home, but could not find an opportunity to broil
it, for fear they would get it from me, and there it lay all that day and night
in my stinking pocket. In the morning I went to the same Squaw, who had a
Kettle of Ground nuts boyling; I asked her to let me boyle my piece of Bear in
her Kettle, which she did, and gave me some Ground-nuts to eat with it and I
cannot but think how pleasant it was to me. I have sometime seen Bear baked
very handsomly among the English, and some like it, but the thoughts that it
was Bear, made me tremble : but now that was savoury to me that one would think
was enough to turn the stomach of a bruit Creature.34.

One bitter cold day, I could find no room to sit down
before the fire : I went out, and could not tell what to do, but I went in to
another Wigwam, where they were also sitting round the fire, but the Squaw laid
a skin for me, and bid me sit down, and gave me some Ground-nuts, and bade me
come again : and told me they would buy me, if they were able, and yet these
were strangers to me that I never saw before.35.

The tenth Remove.

That day a small part of the Company removed about three
quarters of a mile, intending further the next day. When they came to the place
where they intended to lodge, and had pitched their wigwams, being hungry I
went again back to the place we were before at, to get something to eat: being
encouraged by the Squaws kindness, who bade me come again; When I was there,
there came an Indian to look after me, who when he had found me, kickt me all
along: I went home and found Venison roasting that night, but they would not
give me one bit of it. Sometimes I met with favour, and sometimes with nothing
but frowns.36.

The eleventh Remove.

The next day in the morning they took their Travel,
intending a dayes journey up the River, I took my load at my back, and quickly
we came to wade over the River: and passed over tiresome and wearisome hills.
One hill was so steep that I was fain to creep up upon my knees, and to hold by
the twiggs and bushes to keep my self from falling backward. My head also was
so light, that I usually reeled as I went; but I hope all three wearisome steps
that I have taken, are but a fore- warning to me of the heavenly rest. I know,
0 Lord, that thy Judgements are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast
aflicted me, Psal. 119. 71.337.

The twelfth Remove.

It was upon a Sabbath-day-morning, that they prepared for
their Travel. This morning I asked my master whither he would sell me to my
Husband; he answered me Nux, which did much rejoyce my spirit. My mistriss,
before we went, was gone to the burial of a Papoos, and returning, she found me
sitting and reading in my Bible; she snatched it hastily out of my hand, and
threw it out of doors; I ran out and catcht it up, and put it into my pocket,
and never let her see it afterward. Then they packed up their things to be
gone, and gave me my load: I complained it was too heavy, whereupon she gave me
a slap in the face, and bade me go; 1 lifted up my heart to God, hoping the
Redemption was not far off: and the rather because their insolency grew worse
and worse.38.

But the thoughts of my going homeward (for so we bent our
course) much cheared my Spirit, and made my burden seem light, and almost
nothing at all. But (to my amazment and great perplexity) the scale was soon
turned: for when we had gone a little way, on a sudden my mistriss gives out,
she would go no further, but turn back again, and said, I must go back again
with her, and she called her Sannup, and would
have had him gone back also, but he would not, but said, He would go on, and
come to us again in three dayes. My Spirit was upon this, I confess, very
impatient, and almost outragious. I thought I could as well have dyed as went
back 1 cannot declare the trouble that I was in about it; but yet back again I
must go. As soon as I had an opportunity, I took my Bible to read, and that
quieting Scripture came to my hand, Psal. 46. 10.
Be still, and know that I am God.
Which stilled my spirit for the present: But a sore time of tryal, I concluded,
I had to go through, My master being gone, who seemed to me the best friend
that I had of an Indian, both in cold and hunger, and quickly so it proved.
Down I sat, with my heart as full as it could hold, and yet so hungry that I
could not sit neither: but going out to see what I could find, and walking
among the Trees, I found six Acorns, and two Chesnuts, which were some
refreshment to me. Towards Night I gathered me some sticks for my own comfort,
that I might not ly a-cold : but when we came to ly down they bade me go out,
and ly some-where-else, for they had company (they said) come in more than
their own: I told them, I could not tell where to go, they bade me go look; I
told them, if I went to another Wigwam they would be angry, and send me home
again. Then one of the Company drew his sword, and told me he would run me
thorough if I did not go presently. Then was I fain to stoop to this rude
fellow, and to go out in the night, I knew not whither. Mine eyes have seen
that fellow afterwards walking up and down Boston, under the appearance of a
Friend-Indian, and severall others of the like Cut. I went to one Wigwam, and
they told me they had no room. Then I went to another, and they said the same;
at last an old Indian bade me come to him, and his Squaw gave me some
Ground-nuts; she gave me also something to lay under my head, and a good fire
we had: and through the good providence of God, I had a comfortable lodging
that night. In the morning, another Indian bade me come at night, and he would
give me six Ground-nuts, which I did. We were at this place and time about two
miles from Connecticut River. We went in the morning to gather Ground-nuts, to
the River, and went back again that night. I went with a good load at my back
(for they when they went, though but a little way, would carry all their
trumpery with them) I told them the skin was off my back, but I had no other
comforting answer from them than this, That it would be no matter if my head
were off too.39.

The thirteenth Remove.

Instead of going toward the Bay, which was that I
desired, I must go with them five or six miles down the River into a mighty
Thicket of Brush: where we abode almost a fortnight. Here one asked me to make
a shirt for her Papoos, for which she gave me a mess of Broth, which was
thickened with meal made of the Bark of a Tree, and to make it the better, she
had put into it about a handfull of Pease, and a few roasted Ground- nuts. I
had not seen my son a pritty while, and here was an Indian of whom I made
inquiry after him, and asked him when he saw him : he answered me, that such a
time his master roasted him, and that himself did eat a piece of him, as big as
his two fingers, and that he was very good meat : But the Lord upheld my
Spirit, under this discouragement; and I considered their horrible addictedness
to lying, and that there is not one of them that makes the least conscience of
speaking of truth. In this place, en a cold night, as I lay by the fire, I
removed a stick that kept the heat from me, a Squaw moved it down again, at
which I lookt up, and she threw a handfull of ashes in mine eyes; I thought I
should have been quite blinded, and Nave never seen more: but lying down, the
water run out of my eyes, and carried the dirt with it, that by the morning, I
recovered my sight again. Yet upon this, and the like occasions, I hope it is
not too much to say with Job,
Have pitty upon me, have pitty upon me, 0 ye
my Friends, for the Hand of the Lord has touched me. And here I cannot
but remember how many times sitting in their Wigwwms, and musing on things
past, I should suddenly leap up and run out, as if I had been at home,
forgetting where I was, and what my condition was: But when I was without, and
saw nothing but Wilderness, and Woods, and a Company of barbarous heathens, my
mind quickly returned to me, which made me think of that, spoken concerning
Sampson, who said,
I will go out and shake my self as at other
times, but he wist not that the Lord was departed from him . About this
time I began to think that all my hopes of Restoration would come to nothing. I
thought of the English Army, and hoped for their coming, and being taken by
them, but that failed. I hoped to be carried to Albany, as the Indians had
discoursed before, but that failed also. I thought of being sold to my Husband,
as my master spake, but in stead of that, my master himself was gone, and I
left behind, so that my Spirit was now quite ready to sink. I asked them to let
me go out and pick up some sticks, that I might get alone, And poure out my
heart unto the Lord. Then also I took my Bible to read, but I found no comfort
here neither, which many times I was wont to find : So easie a thing it is with
God to dry up the Streames of Scripture-comfort from us. Yet I can say, that in
all my sorrows and afllictions, God did not leave me to have my impatience work
towards himself, as if his wayes were unrighteous. But I knew that he laid upon
me less then I deserved. Afterward, before this dolefull time ended with me, I
was turning the leaves of my Bible, and the Lord brought to me some Scriptures,
which did a little revive me, as that Isai. 55. 8,
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your wayes my ways, saith the Lord. And also that, Psal.
37. 5,
Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in
him, and he shal being it lo pass. About this time they came yelping
from Hadly, where they had killed three English men, and brought one Captive
with them, viz. Thomas Read., They all gathered about the poor Man, asking him
many Questions. I desired also to go and see him; and when I came, he was
crying bitterly, supposing they would quickly kill him. Where- upon I asked one
of them, whether they intended to kill him; he answered me, they would not: He
being a little cheared with that, I asked him about the welfare of my Husband,
he told me he saw him such a time in the Bay, and he was well, but very
melancholly. By which I certainly understood (though I suspected it before)
that whatsoever the Indians told me respecting him was vanity and lies. Some of
them told me, he was dead, and they had killed him : some said he was Married
again, and that the Governour wished him to Marry; and told him he should have
his choice, and that all perswaded I was dead. So like were these barbarous
creatures to him who was a lyer from the beginning.40.

As I was sitting once in the Wigwam here, Phillips Maid
came in with the Child in her arms, and asked me to give her a piece of my
Apron, to make a flap for it, I told her I would not : then my Mistriss bad me
give it, but still I said no: the maid told me if I would not give her a piece,
she would tear a piece off it: I told her I would tear her Coat then, with that
my Mistriss rises up, and takes up a stick big enough to have killed me, and
struck at me with it, but I stept out, and she struck the stick into the Mat of
the Wigwam. But while she was pulling of it out, I ran to the Maid and gave her
all my Apron, and so that storm went over.41.

Hearing that my Son was come to this place, I went to see
him, and told him his Father was well, but very melancholly: he told me he was
as much grieved for his Father as for him self; I wondered at his speech, for I
thought I had enough upon my spirit in reference to my self, to make me
mindless of my Husband and every one else: they being safe among their Friends.
He told me also, that a while before, his Master (together with other Indians)
where going to the French for Powder; but by the way the Mohawks met with them,
and killed four of their Company which made the rest turn back again, for which
I desire that my self and he may bless the Lord; for it might have been worse
with him, had he been sold to the French, than it proved to be in his remaining
with the Indians.42.

I went to see an English Youth in this place, one John
Gilberd of Springfield. I found him lying without dores, upon the ground; I
asked him how he did he told me he was very sick of a flux, with eating so much
blood: They had turned him out of the Wigwam, and with him an Indian Papoos,
almost dead, (whose Parents had been killed) in a bitter cold day, without fire
or clothes: the young man him- self had nothing on, but his shirt and wastcoat.
This sight was enough to melt a heart of flint. There they lay quivering in the
Cold, the youth round like a dog; the Papoos stretcht out, with his eyes and
nose and mouth full of dirt, and yet alive, and groaning. I advised John to go
and get to some fire: he told me he could not stand, but I perswaded him still,
lest he should ly there and die: and with much adoe I got him to a fire, and
went my self home. As soon as I was got home, his Masters Daughter came after
me, to know what I had done with the English man, I told her I had got him to a
fire in such a place. Now had I need to pray Pauls Prayer, 2 Thess. 3. 2.
That we may be delivered from unreasonable
and wicked men. For her satisfaction I went along with her, and brought
her to him; but before I got home again, it was noised about, that I was
running away and getting the English youth, along with me; that as soon as I
came in, they began to rant and domineer: asking me Where I had been, and what
I had been doing and saying they would knock him. on the head I told them, I
had been seeing the English Youth, and that I would not run away, they told me
I lyed, and taking up a Hatchet, they came to me, and said they would knock me
down if I stirred out again; and so confined me to the Wigwam. Now may I say
with David, 2 Sam. 24. 14.
I am in a great strait. If I keep
in, I must dy with hunger, and if I go out, I must be knockt in head. This
distressed condition held that day, and half the next; And then the Lord
remembred me, whose mercyes are great. Then came an Indian to me with a pair of
stockings that were too big for him, and he would have me ravel them out, and
knit them fit for him. I shewed my self willing, and bid him ask my mistriss if
I might go along with him a little way; she said yes, I might, but I was not a
little refresht with that news, that I had my liberty again. Then I went along
with him, and he gave me some roasted Ground-nuts, which did again revive my
feeble stomach.43.

Being got out of her sight, I had time and liberty again
to look into my Bible : Which was my Guid by day, and my Pillow by night. Now
that comfortable Scripture presented it self to me, Isa. 54. 7.
For a smal moment have I forsaken thee, but
with great mercies will I gather thee . Thus the Lord carried me along
from one time to another, and made good to me this precious promise, and many
others. Then my Son came to see me, and I asked his master to let him stay a
while with me, that I might comb his head, and look over him, for he was almost
overcome with lice. He told me, when I had done, that he was very hungry, but I
had nothing to relieve him; but bid him go into the Wigwwms as he went along,
and see if he could get any thing among them. Which he did, and it seemes
tarried a little too long; for his Master was angry with him, and beat him, and
then sold him. Then he came running to tell me he had a new Master, and that he
had given him some Groundnuts already. Then I went along with him to his new
Master who told me he loved him: and he should not want. So his Master carried
him away, and I never saw him afterward, till I saw him at Pascataqua in Ports-
mouth.44.

That night they bade me go out of the Wigwam again : my
Mistrisses Papoos was sick, and it died that night, and there was one benefit
in it, that there was more room. I went to a Wigwam, and they bade me come in,
and gave me a skin to ly upon, and a mess of Venson and Ground-nuts, which was
a choice Dish among them. On the morrow they buried the Papoos, and afterward,
both morning and evening, there came a company to mourn and howle with her:
though I confess, I could not much condole with them. Many sorrowfull dayes 1
had in this place: often getting alone;
like a Crane, or a Swallow, so did I
chatter: I did mourn as a Dove, mine eyes ail with looking upward. Oh, Lord, I
am oppressed; undertake for me, Isa. 38. 14. I could tell the Lord as
Hezeckiah, ver. 3.
Remember now 0 Lord, I beseech thee, how I
have walked before thee in truth. Now had I time to examine all my
wayes: my Conscience did not accuse me of un-righteousness toward one or other:
yet I saw how in my walk with God, I had been a careless creature. As David
said,
Against thee, thee only have I sinned: and I
might say with the poor Publican, God be merciful unto me a sinner. On
the Sabbath-dayes, I could look upon the Sun and think how People were going to
the house of God, to have their Souls refresht; and then home, and their bodies
also: but I was destitute of both; and might say as the poor Prodigal,
he would fain have filled his belly with the
husks that the Swine did eat, and no man gave unto him, Luke 15. 16.
For I must say with him, Father I have sinned against Heaven, and in thy sight,
ver. 21. I remembred how on the night before and after the Sabbath, when my
Family was about me, and Relations and Neighbours with us, we could pray and
sing, and then refresh our bodies with the good creatures of God; and then have
a comfortable Bed to ly down on: but in stead of all this, I had only a little
Swill for the body, and then like a Swine, must ly down on the ground. I cannot
express to man the sorrow that lay upon my Spirit, the Lord knows it. Yet that
comfortable Scripture would often come to my mind,
For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but
with great mercies will I gather thee.45.

The fourteenth Remove

Now must we pack up and be gone from this Thicket,
bending our course toward the Bay-towns, I haveing nothing to eat by the way
this day, but a few crumbs of Cake, that an Indian gave my girle the same day
we were taken. She gave it me, and I put it in my pocket : there it lay, till
it was so mouldy (for want of good baking) that one could not tell what it was
made of; it fell all to crumbs, and grew so dry and hard, that it was like
little flints; and this refreshed me many times, when I was ready to faint. It
was in my thoughts when I put it into my mouth, that if ever I returned, I
would tell the World what a blessing the Lord gave to such mean food. As we
went along, they killed a Deer, with a young one in her, they gave me a piece
of the Fawn, and it was so young and tender, that one might eat the bones as
well as the flesh, and yet I thought it very good. When night came on we sate
down; it rained, but they quickly got up a Bark Wigwam, where I lay dry that
night. I looked out in the morning, and many of them had line in the rain all
night, I saw by their Reaking. Thus the Lord dealt mercifully with me many
times. and I fared better than many of them. In the morning they took the blood
of the Deer, and put it into the Paunch, and so boyled it; I could eat nothing
of that, though they ate it sweetly. And yet they were so nice in other things,
that when I had fetcht water, and had put the Dish I dipt the water with, into
the Kettle of water which I brought, they would say, they would knock me down;
for they said, it was a sluttish trick.46.

The fifteenth Remove.

We went on our Travel. I having got one handfull of
Ground-nuts, for my support that day, they gave me my load, and I went on
cheerfully (with the thoughts of going homeward) haveing my burden more on my
back than my spirit: we came to Baquaug River again that day, near which we
abode a few dayes. Sometimes one of them would give me a Pipe, another a little
Tobacco, another a little Salt: which I would change for a little Victuals. I
cannot but think what a Wolvish appetite persons have in a starving condition:
for many times when they gave me that which was hot, I was so greedy, that I
should burn my mouth, that it would trouble me hours after, and yet I should
quickly do the same again. And after I was thoroughly hungry, I was never again
satisfied. For though sometimes it fell out, that I got enough, and did eat
till I could eat no more, yet I was as unsatisfied as I was when I began. And
now could I see that Scripture verified (there being many Scriptures which we
do not take notice of, or understand till we are afflicted) Mic. 6. 14.
Thou shalt eat and not be satisfied.
Now might I see more than ever before, the miseries that sin hath brought upon
us: Many times I should be ready to run out against the Heathen, but the
Scripture would quiet me again, Amos 3. 6,
Shal there be evil in the City, and the Lord
hath not done it? The Lord help me to make a right improvment of His
Word, and that I might learn that great lesson, Mie. 6. 8, 9.
He hath shewed thee (Oh Man) what is good,
and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and love mercy, and
walk humbly with thy God Hear ye the rod, and who hath appointed
it.47.

The sixteenth Remove.

We began this Remove with wading over Baquag River: the
water was up to the knees, and the stream very swift, and so cold that I
thought it would have cut me in sunder. I was so weak and feeble, that I reeled
as I went along, and thought there I must end my dayes at last, after my
bearing and getting thorough so many difficulties; the Indians stood laughing
to see me staggering along: but in my distress the Lord gave me experience of
the truth, and goodness of that promise, Isai. 43. 2.
When thou passest thorough the Waters, I
will be with thee, and through the Rivers, they shall not overflow
thee. Then I sat down to put on my stockins and shoos, with the teares
running down mine eyes, and many sorrowfull thoughts in my heart, but I gat up
to go along with them. Quickly there came up to us an Indian, who informed
them, that I must go to Wachusit to my master, for there was a Letter come from
the Council to the Saggamores, about re- deeming the Captives, and that there
would be another in fourteen dayes, and that I must be there ready.. My heart
was so heavy before that I could scarce speak or go in the path; and yet now so
light, that I could run. My strength seemed to come again, and recruit my
feeble knees, and aking heart: yet it pleased them to go but one mile that
night, and there we stayed two dayes. In that time came a company of Indians to
us, near thirty, all on horseback. My heart skipt within me, thinking they had
been English-men at the first sight of them, for they were dressed in English
Apparel, with Hats, white Neckcloths, and Sashes about their wasts, and Rib-
bonds upon their shoulders : but when they came near, their was a vast
difference between the lovely faces of Christians, and the foul looks of those
Heathens, which much damped my spirit again.48.

The seventeenth Remove.

A comfortable Remove it was to me, because of my hopes.
They gave me a pack, and along we went chearfully; but quickly my will proved
more than my strength; having little or no refreshing my strength failed me,
and my spirit were almost quite gone. Now may I say with David, Psal. 119. 22,
23, 24.
I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded
within me. I am gone like the shadow when it declineth : I am tossed up and
down like the locust; my knees are weak through fasting, and my flesh faileth
of fatness. At night we came to an Indian Town, and the Indians sate
down by a Wigwam discoursing, but I was almost spent, and could scarce speak. I
laid down my load, and went into the Wigwam, and there sat an Indian boyling of
Horses feet (they being wont to eat the flesh first, and when the feet were old
and dried, and they had nothing else, they would cut off the feet and use
them). I asked him to give me a little of his Broth, or Water they were boiling
in; he took a dish, and gave me one spoonfull of Samp, and bid me take as much
of the Broth as I would. Then I put some of the hot water to the Samp, and
drank it up, and my spirit came again. He gave me also a piece of the Ruff or
Ridding of the small Guts, and I broiled it on the coals; and now may I say
with Jonathan,
See, I pray you, how mine eyes have been
enlightened, because I tasted a little of this honey, 1 Sam. 14. 29.
Now is my Spirit revived again; though means be never so inconsiderable, yet if
the Lord bestow his blessing upon them, they shall refresh both Soul and
Body.49.

The eighteenth Remove.

We took up our packs and along we went, but a wearisome
day I had of it. As we went along I saw an Englishman stript naked, and lying
dead upon the ground, but knew not who it was. Then we came to another Indian
Town, where we stayed all night. In this Town there were four English Children,
Captives; and one of them my own Sisters. I went to see how she did, and she
was well, considering her Captive-condition. I would have tarried that night
with her, but they that owned her would not Buffer it. Then I went into another
Wigwam, where they were boyling Corn and Beans, which was a lovely sight to
see, but I could not get a taste thereof. Then I went to another Wigwam, where
there were two of the English Children; the Squaw was boyling Horses feet, then
she cut me off a little piece, and gave one of the English Children a piece
also. Being very hungry I had quickly eat up mine, but the Child could not bite
it, It was so tough and sinewy, but lay sucking, gnawing, chewing and
slabbering of it in the mouth and hand, then I took it of the Child, and eat it
my self, and savoury it was to my taste. Then I may say as Job, Chap. 6. 7.
The things that my soul refused to tough,
are as my sorrowfull meat. Thus the Lord made that pleasant refreshing,
which another time would have been an abomination. Then I went home to my
mistresses Wigwam; and they told me I disgraced my master with begging, and if
I did so any more, they would knock me in head: I told them, they had as good
knock me in head as starve me to death.50.

The nineteenth Remove.

They said, when we went out, that we must travel to
Wachuset this day. But a bitter weary day I had of it, travelling now three
dayes together, without resting any day between. At last, after many weary
steps, I saw Wachuset hills, but many miles off. Then we came to a great Swamp,
through which we travelled, up to the knees in mud and water, which was heavy
going to one tyred before. Being almost spent, I thought I should have sunk
down at last, and never gat out; but I may say, as in Psal. 94. 18,
When my foot slipped, thy mercy, 0 Lord,
held me up. Going along, having indeed my life, but little spirit,
Philip, who was in the Company, came up and took me by the hand, and said, Two
weeks more and you shal be Mistress again. I asked him, if he spake true he
answered, Yes, and quickly you shal come to your master again; who had been
gone from us three weeks. After many weary steps we came to Wachuset, where he
was: and glad I was to see him. He asked me, When I washt me I told him not
this month, then he fetcht me some water himself, and bid me wash, and gave me
the Glass to see how I lookt; and bid his Squaw give me something to eat : so
she gave me a mess of Beans and meat, and a little Ground-nut Cake. I was
wonder- fully revived with this favour shewed me, Psal. 106. 46,
He made them also to be pittied, of all
those that carried them Captives.51.

My master had three Squaws, living sometimes with one,
and sometimes with another one, this old Squaw, at whose Wigwam I was, and with
whom my Master had been those three weeks. Another was Wattimore,l with whom I
had lived and served all this while : A severe and proud Dame she was,
bestowing every day in dressing her self neat as much time as any of the Gentry
of the land : powdering her hair, and painting her face, going with Neck-laces,
with Jewels in her ears, and Bracelets upon her hands: When she had dressed her
self, her work was to make Girdles of Wampom and Beads. The third Squaw was a
younger one, by whom he had two Papooses. By that time I was refresht by the
old Squaw, with whom my master was, Wettimores Maid came to call me home, at
which I fell a weeping. Then the old Squaw told me, to encourage me, that if I
wanted victuals, I should come to her, and that I should ly there in her
Wigwam. Then I went with the maid, and quickly came again and lodged there. The
Squaw laid a Mat under me, and a good Rugg over me; the first time I had any
such kindness shewed me. I under- stood that Wettimore thought, that if she
should let me go and serve with the old Squaw, she would be in danger to loose,
not only my service, but the redemption-pay also. And I was not a little glad
to hear this; being by it raised in my hopes, that in Gods due time there would
be an end of this sorrowfull hour. Then came an Indian, and asked me to knit
him three pair of Stockins, for which I had a Hat, and a silk Handker- chief.
Then another asked me to make her a shift, for which she gave me an Apron.52.

Then came Tom and Peter, with the second Letter from the
Council, about the Captives. Though they were Indians, I gat them by the hand,
and burst out into tears; my heart was so full that I could not speak to them;
but recovering my self, I asked them how my husband did, and all my friends and
acquaintance they said, They are all very well but melancholy. They brought me
two Biskets, and a pound of Tobacco. The Tobacco I quickly gave away; when it
was all gone, one asked me to give him a pipe of Tobacco, I told him it was all
gone; then began he to rant and threaten. I told him when my Husband came I
would give him some: Hang him Rogue (sayes he) I will knock out his brains, if
he comes here. And then again, in the same breath they would say, That if there
should come an hundred without Guns, they would do them no hurt. So unstable
and like mad men they were. So that fearing the worst, I durst not send to my
Husband, though there were some thoughts of his coming to Redeem and fetch me,
not knowing what might follow. For there was little more trust to them then to
the master they served. When the Letter was come, the Saggamores met to consult
about the Captives, and called me to them to enquire how much my husband would
give to redeem me, when I came I sate down among them, as I was wont to do, as
their manner is: Then they bade me stand up, and said, they were the General
Court. They bid me speak what I thought he would give. Now knowing that all we
had was destroyed by the Indians, I was in a great strait : I thought if I
should speak of but a little, it would be slighted, and hinder the matter; if
of a great sum, I knew not where it would be procured: yet at a venture, I said
Twenty pounds, yet desired them to take less; but they would not hear of that,
but sent that message to Boston, that for Twenty pounds I should be redeemed.
It was a Praying-Indian that wrote their Letter for them. There was another
Praying Indian, who told me, that he had a brother, that would not eat Horse;
his conscience was so tender and scrupulous (though as large as hell, for the
destruction of poor Christians). Then he said, he read that Scripture to him, 2
Kings, 6. 25.
There was a famine in Samaria, and behold
they besieged it, untill an Asses head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver,
and the fourth part of a Kab of Doves dung, for five pieces of silver.
He expounded this place to his brother, and shewed him that it was lawfull to
eat that in a Famine which is not at another time. And now, sayes he, he will
eat Horse with any Indian of them all. There was another Praying-Indian, who
when he had done all the mischief that he could, betrayed his own Father into
the English hands, thereby to purchase his own life. Another Praying-Indian was
at Sudbury-fight, though, as he deserved, he was after- ward hanged for it.
There was another Praying Indian, so wicked and cruel, as to wear a string
about his neck, strung with Christians fingers. Another Praying-Indian, when
they went to Sudbury-fight, went with them, and his Squaw also with him, with
her Papoos at her back: Before they went to that fight, they got a company
together to Powaw; the manner was as
followeth. There was one that kneeled upon a Deer- skin, with the company round
him in a ring who kneeled, and striking upon the ground with their hands, and
with sticks, and muttering or humming with their mouths; besides him who
kneeled in the ring, there also stood one with a Gun in his hand: Then he on
the Deer-skin made a speech, and all manifested assent to it: and so they did
many times together. Then they bade him with the Gun go out of the ring, which
he did, but when he was out, they called him in again; but he seemed to make a
stand, then they called the more earnestly, till he returned again : Then they
all sang. Then they gave him two Guns, in either hand one: And so he on the
Deer- skin began again; and at the end of every sentence in his speaking, they
all assented, humming or muttering with their mouthes, and striking upon the
ground with their hands. Then they bade him with the two Guns go out of the
ring again; which he did, a little way. Then they called him in again, but he
made a stand; so they called him with greater earnestness; but he stood reeling
and wavering as if he knew not whither he should stand or fall, or which way to
go. Then they called him with exceeding great vehemency, all of them, one and
another: after a little while he turned in, staggering as he went, with his
Armes stretched out, in either hand a Gun. As soon as he came in, they all sang
and rejoyced exceedingly a while. And then he upon the Deerskin, made another
speech unto which they all assented in a rejoicing manner: and so they ended
their business, and forthwith went to Sudbury-fight. To my thinking they went
without any scruple, but that they should prosper, and gain the victory. And
they went out not so rejoycing, but they came home with as great a Victory. For
they said they had killed two Captains, and almost an hundred men. One
English-man they brought along with them: and he said, it was too true, for
they had made sad work at Sudbury, as indeed it proved. Yet they came home
without that rejoycing ‘and triumphing over their victory, which they were wont
to shew at other times, but rather like Dogs (as they say) which have lost
their ears. Yet I could not perceive that it was for their own loss of men:
They said, they had not lost above five or six: and I missed none, except in
one Wigwam. When they went, they acted as if the Devil had told them that they
should gain the victory and now they acted, as if the Devil had told them they
should have a fall. Whither it were so or no, I cannot tell, but so it proved,
for quickly they began to fall, and so held on that Summer, till they came to
utter ruine. They came home on a Sabbath day, and the Powaw that kneeled upon
the Deer- skin came home (I may say, without abuse) as black as the Devil. When
my master came home, he came to me and bid me make a shirt for his Papoos, of a
holland-laced Pillowbeer. About that time there came an Indian to me and bid me
come to his Wigwam, at night, and he would give me some Pork and Ground-nuts.
Which I did, and as I was eating, another Indian said to me, he seems to be
your good Friend, but he killed two Englishmen at Sudbury, and there ly their
Cloaths behind you: I looked behind me, and there I saw bloody Cloaths, with
Bullet-holes in them; yet the Lord suffered not this wretch to do me any hurt;
Yea, instead of that, he many times refresht me: five or six times did he and
his Squaw re- fresh my feeble carcass. If I went to their Wigwam at any time,
they would alwayes give me something, and yet they were strangers that I never
saw before. Another Squaw gave me a piece of fresh Pork, and a little Salt with
it, and lent me her Pan to Fry it in; and I cannot but remember what a sweet,
pleasant and delightfull relish that bit had to me, to this day. So little do
we prize common mercies when we have them to the full.53.

The twentieth Remove.

It was their usual manner to remove, when they had done
any mischief, lest they should be found out: and so they did at this time. We
went about three or four miles, and there they built a great Wigwam, big enough
to hold an hundred Indians, which they did in preparation to a great day of
Dancing. They would say now amongst themselves, that the Governour would be so
angry for his loss at Sudbury, that he would send no more about the Captives,
which made me grieve and tremble. My Sister being not far from the place where
we now were, and hearing that I was here, desired her master to let her come
and see me, and he was willing to it, and would go with her: but she being
ready before him, told him she would go before, and was come within a Mile or
two of the place; Then he overtook her, and began to rant as if he had been
mad; and made her go back again in the Rain; so that I never saw her till I saw
her in Charlestown. But the Lord requited many of their ill doings, for Chis
Indian her Master, was hanged afterward at Boston. The Indians now began to
come from all quarters, against their merry dancing day. Among some of them
came one Goodwife Kettle I told her my heart was so heavy that it was ready to
break: so is mine too said she, but yet said, I hope we shall hear some good
news shortly. I could hear how earnestly my Sister de- sired to see me, and I
as earnestly desired to see her: and yet neither of us could get an
opportunity. My Daughter was also now about a mile off, and I had not seen her
in nine or ten weeks, as I had not seen my Sister since our first taking. I
earnestly desired them to let me go and see them: yea, I intreated, begged, and
perswaded them, but to let me see my Daughter; and yet so hard hearted were
they, that they would not Buffer it. They made use of their tyrannical power
whilst they had it : but thoough the Lords wonderfull mercy, their time was now
but short.54.

On a Sabbath day, the Sun being about an hour high in the
afternoon, came Mr. John Hoar (the Council permitting him, and his own foreward
spirit inclining him) together with the two forementioned Indians, Tom and
Peter, with their third Letter from the Council. When they came near, I was
abroad : though I saw them not, they presently called me in, and bade me Bit
down and not stir. Then they catched up their Guns, and away they ran, as if an
Enemy had been at hand; and the Guns went off apace. I manifested some great
trouble, and they asked me what was the master I told them, I thought they had
killed the English-man (for they had in the mean time informed me that an
English-man was come) they said, No; They shot over his Horse and under, and
before his Horse; and they pusht him. this way and that way, at their pleasure
: shewing what they could do: Then they let them come to their Wigwams. I
begged of them to let me see the English-man, but they would not. But there was
I fain to sit their pleasure. When they had talked their fill with him, they
suffered me to go to him. We asked each other of our welfare, and how my
Husband did, and all my Friends He told me they were all well, and would be
glad to see me. Amongst other things which my Husband sent me, there came a
pound of Tobacco: which I sold for nine shillings in Money: for many of the
Indians for want of Tobacco, smoaked Hemlock, and Ground-Ivy. It was a great
mistake in any, who thought I sent for Tobacco: for through the favour of God,
that desire was overcome. I now asked them, whither I should go home with Mr.
Hoar They answered No, one and another of them : and it being night, we lay
down with that answer; in the morning, Mr Hoar invited the Saggamores to
Dinner; but when we went to get it ready, we pound that they had stollen the
greatest part of the Provision Mr. Hoar had brought, out of his Bags, in the
night. And we may see the wonderfull power of God, in that one passage, in that
when there was such a great number of the Indians together, and so greedy of a
little good food; and no English there, but Mr. Hoar and my self that there
they did not knock us in the head, and take what we had: there being not only
some Provision, but also Trading- cloth, a part of the twenty pounds agreed
upon: But instead of doing us any mischief, they seemed to be ashamed of the
fact, and said, it were some Matchit Indian that did it. Oh, that we could
believe that there is no thing too hard for God! God shewed his Power over the
Heathen in this, as he did over the hungry Lyons when Daniel was cast into the
Den. Mr. Hoar called them betime to Dinner, but they ate very little, they
being so busie in dressing themselves, and getting ready for their Dance: which
was carried on by eight of them, four Men and four Squaws: My master and
mistress being two. He was dressed in his Holland shirt, with great Laces sewed
at the tail of it, he had his silver Buttons, his white Stockins, his Garters
were hung round with Shillings, and he had Girdles of Wampom upon his head and
shoulders. She had a Kersey Coat, and covered with Girdles of Wampom from the
Lyons upward: her armes from her elbows to her hands were covered with
Bracelets; there were handfulls of Neck- laces about her neck, and severall
sorts of Jewels in her ears. She had fine red Stokins, and white Shoos, her
hair powdered and face painted Red, that was alwayes before Black. And all the
Dancers were after the same manner. There were two other singing and knocking
on a Kettle for their musick. They keept hopping up and down one after another,
with a Kettle of water in the midst, standing warm upon some Embers, to drink
of when they were dry. They held on till it was almost night, throwing out
Wampom to the standers by. At night I asked them again, if I should go home
They all as one said No, except my Husband would come for me. When we were lain
down, my Master went out of the Wigwam, and by and by sent in an Indian called
James the Printer, who told Mr. Hoar, that my Master would let me go home to
morrow, if he would let him have one pint of Liquors. Then Mr. Hoar called his
own Indians, Tom and Peter, and bid them go and see whither he would promise it
before them three: and if he would, he should have it; which he did, and he had
it. Then Philip smeling the business cal’d me to him, and asked me what I would
give him, to tell me some good news, and speak a good word for me. I told him,
I could not tell what to give him, I would any thing I had, and asked him what
he would have He said, two Coats and twenty shillings in Mony, and half a
bushel of seed Corn, and some Tobacco. I thanked him for his love: but I knew
the good news as well as the crafty Fox. My Master after he had had his drink,
quickly came ranting into the Wigwam again, and called for Mr. Hoar, drinking
to him, and saying, He was a good man: and then again he would say, Hang him
Rogue: Being almost drunk, he would drink to him, and yet presently say he
should be hanged. Then he called for me. I trembled to hear him, yet I was fain
to go to him, and he drank to me, shewing no incivility. He was the first
Indian I saw drunk all the while that I was amongst them. At last his Squaw ran
out, and he after her, round the Wigwam, with his mony jingling at his knees:
But she escaped him: But having an old Squaw he ran to her: and so through the
Lords mercy, we were no more troubled that night. Yet I had not a comfort- able
nights rest: for I think I can say, I did not sleep for three nights together.
The night before the Letter came from the Council, I could not rest, I was so
full of feares and troubles, God many times leaving us most in the dark, when
deliverance is nearest : yea, at this time I could not rest night nor day. The
next night I was overjoyed, Mr. Hoar being come, and that with such good
tidings. The third night I was even swallowed up with the thoughts of things,
viz. that ever I should go home again; and
that I must go, leaving my Children be- hind me in the Wilderness; so that
sleep was now almost de- parted from mine eyes.55.

On Tuesday morning they called their General Court (as
they call it) to consult and determine, whether I should go home or no: And
they all as one man did seemingly consent to it, that I should go home; except
Philip, who would not come among them.56.

But before I go any further, I would take leave to
mention a few remarkable passages of providence, which I took special notice of
in my afflicted time.57.

1. Of the fair opportunity lost in the long March, a
little after the Fort-fight, when our English Army was so numerous, and in
pursuit of the Enemy, and so near as to take several and destroy them: and the
Enemy in such distress for food, that our men might track them by their rooting
in the earth for Ground-nuts, whilest they were flying for their lives. I say,
that then our Army should want Provision, and be forced to leave their pursuit
and return homeward: and the very next week the Enemy came upon our Town, like
Bears bereft of their whelps, or so many ravenous Wolves, rending us and our
Lambs to death. But what shall I say God seemed to leave his People to
themselves, and order all things for his own holy ends.
Shal there be evil in the City and the Lord
hath not done it? They are not grieved for the affliction of Joseph, therefore
shal they go Captive, with the first that go Captive. It is the Lords
doing, and it should be marvelous in our eyes.58.

2. I cannot but remember how the Indians derided the
slowness, and dulness of the English Army, in its setting out. For after the
desolations at Lancaster and Medfield, as I went along with them, they asked me
when I thought the English Army would come after them I told them I could not
tell: It may be they will come in May, said they. Thus did they scoffe at us,
as if the English would be a quarter of a year getting ready.59.

3. Which also I have hinted before, when the English Army
with new supplies were sent forth to pursue after the enemy, and they
understanding it, fled before them till they came to Baquaug River, where they
forthwith went over safely: that that River should be impassable to the
English. I can but admire to see the wonderfull providence of God in pre-
serving the heathen for farther affliction to our poor Countrey. They could go
in great numbers over, but the English must stop: God had an over-ruling hand
in all those things.60.

4. It was thought, if their Corn were cut down, they
would starve and dy with hunger: and all their Corn that could be found, was
destroyed, and they driven from that little they had in store, into the Woods
in the midst of Winter; and yet how to admiration did the Lord preserve them
for his holy ends, and the destruction of many still amongst the English!
strangely did the Lord provide for them; that I did not see (all the time I was
among them) one Man, Woman, or Child, die with hunger.61.

Though many times they would eat that, that a Hog or a
Dog would hardly touch; yet by that God strengthned them to be a scourge to his
People.62.

The chief and commonest food was Ground-nuts: They eat
also Nuts and Acorns, Harty-choaks, Lilly roots, Ground- beans, and several
other weeds and roots, that I know not.63.

They would pick up old bones, and cut them to pieces at
the joynts, and if they were full of wormes and magots, they would scald them
over the fire to make the vermine come out, and then boile them, and drink up
the Liquor, and then beat the great ends of them in a Morter, and so eat them.
They would eat Horses guts, and ears, and all sorts of wild Birds which they
could catch: also Bear, Vennison, Beaver, Tortois, Frogs, Squirrels, Dogs,
Skunks, Rattle-snakes; yea, the very Bark of Trees; besides all sorts of
creatures, and provision which they plundered from the English. I can but stand
in admiration to see the wonderful power of God, in providing for such a vast
number of our Enemies in the Wilderness, where there was nothing to be seen,
but from hand to mouth. Many times in a morning, the generality of them would
eat up all they had, and yet Nave some forther supply against they wanted. It
is said, Psal. 81. 13, 14.
Oh, that my People had hearkned to me, and
Israel had walked in my wayes, I should soon have subdued their Enemies, and
turned my hand against their Adversaries. But now our perverse and evil
carriages in the sight of the Lord, have so offended him, that instead of
turning his hand against them, the Lord feeds and nourishes them up to be a
scourge to the whole Land.64.

5. Another thing that I would observe is, the strange
providence of God, in turning things about when the Indians was at the highest,
and the English at the lowest. I was with the Enemy eleven weeks and five
dayes, and not one Week passed without the fury of the Enemy, and some
desolation by fire and sword upon one place or other. They mourned (with their
black faces) for their own lossess, yet triumphed and rejoyced in their
inhumane, and many times devilish cruelty to the English. They would boast much
of their Victories; saying, that in two hours time they had destroyed such a
Captain, and his Company at such a place; and such a Captain and his Company in
such a place; and such a Captain and his Company in such a place: and boast how
many Towns they had destroyed, and then scoffe, and say, They had done them a
good turn, to send them to Heahen so soon. Again, they would say, This Summer
that they would knock all the Rogues in the head, or drive them into the Sea,
or make them flie the Countrey: thinking surely, Agag-like,
The bitterness of Death is past. Now
the Heathen begins to think all is their own, and the poor Christians hopes to
fail (as to man) and now their eyes are more to God, and their hearts sigh
heaven-ward: and to say in good earnest,
Help Lord, or we perish: When the
Lord had brought his people to this, that they saw no help in any thing but
himself : then he takes the quarrel into his own hand: and though they had made
a pit, in their own imaginations, as deep as hell for the Christians that
Summer, yet the Lord hurll’d them selves into it. And the Lord had not so many
wayes before to preserve them, but now he hath as many to destroy them.65.

But to return again to my going home, where we may see a
remarkable change of Providence: At first they were all against it, except my
Husband would come for me; but after- wards they assented to it, and seemed
much to rejoyce in it; some askt me to send them some Bread, others some
Tobacco, others shaking me by the hand, offering me a Hood and Scarfe to ride
in; not one moving hand or tongue against it. Thus hath the Lord answered my
poor desire, and the many earnest requests of others put up unto God for me. In
my travels an Indian came to me, and told me, if I were willing, he and his
Squaw would run away, and go home along with me: I told him No: I was not
willing to run away, but desired to wait Gods time, that I might go home
quietly, and without fear. And now God hath granted me my desire. 0 the won-
derfull power of God that I have seen, and the experience that I have had : I
have been in the midst of those roaring Lyons, and Salvage Bears, that feared
neither God, nor Man, nor the Devil, by night and day, alone and in company:
sleeping all sorts together, and yet not one of them ever offered me the least
abuse of unchastity to me, in word or action. Though some are ready to say, I
speak it for my own credit; But I speak it in the presente of God, and to his
Glory. Gods Power is as great now, and as sufficient to save, as when he
preserved Daniel in the Lyons Den; or the three Children in the fiery Furnace.
I may well say as his Psal. 107. 12,
Oh give thanks unto the Lord for he is good,
for his mercy endureth for ever. Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so,
whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the Enemy, especially that I should come
away in the midst of so many hundreds of Enemies quietly and peacably, and not
a Dog moving his tongue. So I took my leave of them, and in coming along my
heart melted into tears, more then all the while I was with them, and I was
almost swallowed up with the thoughts that ever I should go home again. About
the Sun going down, Mr. Hoar, and my self, and the two Indians came to
Lancaster, and a solemn sight it was to me. There had I lived many comfortable
years amongst my Relations and Neighbours, and now not one Christian to be
seen, nor one house left standing. We went on to a Farm house that was yet
standing, where we lay all night: and a comfortable lodging we had, though
nothing but straw to ly on. The Lord preserved us in safety that night, and
raised us up again in the morning, and carried us along, that before noon, we
came to Concord. Now was I full of joy, and yet not without sorrow: joy to see
such a lovely sight, so many Christians together, and some of them my
Neighbours: There I met with my Brother, and my Brother in Law, who asked me,
if I knew where his Wife was Peor heart! he had helped to bury her, and knew it
not; she being shot down by the house was partly burnt: so that those who were
at Boston at the desolation of the Town, and came back afterward, and buried
the dead, did not know her. Yet I was not without sorrow, to think how many
were looking and longing, and my own Children amongst the rest, to enjoy that
deliverance that I had now received, and I did not know whither ever I should
see them again. Being recruited with food and raiment we went to Boston that
day, where I met with my dear Husband, but the thoughts of our dear Children,
one being dead, and the other we could not tell where, abated our comfort each
to other. I was not before so much hem’d in with the merciless and cruel
Heathen, but now as much with pittiful, tender-hearted and compassionate
Christians. In that poor, and destressed, and beggerly condition I was received
in, I was kindly entertained in severall Houses : so much leve I received from
several (some of whom I knew, and others I knew not) that I am not capable to
declare it. But the Lord knows them all by name: The Lord reward them seven
fold into their bosoms of his spirituals, for their temporals. The twenty
pounds the price of my redemption was raised by some Boston Gentlemen, and Mrs.
Usher, whose bounty and religious charity, I would not forget to make mention
of. Then Mr. Thomas Shepard a of Charlstown received us into his House, where
we continued eleven weeks; and a Father and Mother they were to us. And many
more tender- hearted Friends we met with in that place. We were now in the
mindt of leve, yet not without much and frequent heaviness of heart for our
poor Children, and other Relations, who were still in affliction. The week
following, after my coming in, the Governour and Council sent forth to the
Indians again; and that not without success; for they brought in my Sister, and
Good-Wife Kettle: Their not knowing where our Children were, was a sore tryal
to us still, and yet we were not without secret hopes that we should see them
again. That which was dead lay heavier upon my spirit, than those which were
alive and amongst the Heathen; thinking how it suffered with its wounds, and I
was no way able to relieve it; and how it was buried by the Heathen in the
Wilderness from among all Christians. We were hurried up and down in our
thoughts, some- time we should hear a report that they were gone this way, and
sometimes that; and that they were come in, in this place or that: We kept
enquiring and listning to hear concerning them, but no certain news as yet.
About this time the Council had ordered a day of publick Thanks-giving 1 though
I thought I had still cause of mourning, and being unsettled in our minds, we
thought we would ride toward the Eastward, to see if we could hear any thing
concerning our Children. And as we were riding along (God is the wise disposer
of all things) between Ipswich and Rowly we met with Mr. William Hubbard, who
told us that our Son Joseph was come in to Major Waldrens, and another with
him, which was my Sisters Son. I asked him how he knew it He said, the Major
himself told him so. So along we went till we came to New- bury; and their
Minister being absent, they desired my Husband to Preach the Thanks giving for
them; but he was not willing to stay there that night, but would go over to
Salisbury, to hear further, and come again in the morning; which he did, and
Preached there that day. At night, when he had done, one came and told him that
his Daughter was come in at Providence: Here was mercy on both hands: Now hath
God fulfiled that precious Scripture which was such a comfort to me in my
distressed condition. When my heart was ready to sink into the Earth (my
Children being gone I could not tell whither) and my knees trembled under me,
And I was walking through the valley of the shadow of Death : Then the Lord
brought, and now has fulfilled that reviving word unto me:
Thus saith the Lord, Refrain thy voice from
weeping, and thine eyes from tears, for thy Work shall be rewarded, saith the
Lord, and they shall come again from the Land of the Enemy. Now we were
between them, the one on the East, and the other on the West : Our Son being
nearest, we went to him first, to Portsmouth, where we met with him, and with
the Major also: who told us he had done what he could, but could not redeem him
under seven pounds; which the good People thereabouts were pleased to pay. The
Lord reward the Major, and all the rest, though unknown to me, for their labour
of Love. My Sisters Son was redeemed for four pounds, which the Council gave
order for the payment of. Having now received one of our Children, we hastened
toward the other; going back through Newbury, my Husband preached there on the
Sabbath-day: for which they rewarded him many fold.66.

On Munday we came to Charlstown, where we heard that the
Governour of Road-Island had sent over for our Daughter, to take tare of her,
being now within his Jurisdiction which should not pass without our
acknowledgments. But she being nearer Rehoboth than Road-Island, Mr. Newman
went over, and took tare of her, and brought her to his own House. And the
goodness of God was admirable to us in our low estate, in that he raised up
passionate Friends on every side to us, when we had nothing to recompance any
for their love. The Indians were now gone that way, that it was apprehended
dangerous to go to her: But the Carts which carried Provision to the English
Army, being guarded, brought her with them to Dorchester, where we received her
safe: blessed be the Lord for it, For great is his Power, and he can do
whatsoever seemeth him good. Her coming in was after this manner: She was
travelling one day with the Indians, with her basket at her back; the company
of Indians were got before her, and gone out of sight, all except one Squaw;
she followed the Squaw till night, and then both of them lay down, having
nothing over them but the heavens, and under them but the earth. Thus she
travelled three dayes together, not knowing whither she was going: having
nothing to eat or drink but water, and green Hirtle-berries. At last they came
into Providence, where she was kindly entertained by several of that Town. The
Indians often said, that I should never have her under twenty pounds: But now
the Lord hath brought her in upon free-cost, and given her to me the second
time. The Lord make us a blessing indeed, each to others. Now have I seen that
Scripture also fulfilled, Deut. 30:4, 7.
If any of thine be driven out to the outmost
parts of heaven, from thence will the Lord thy God gather thee, and from thence
will he fetch thee. And the Lord thy God will put all these curses upon thine
enemies, and on them which hate thee, which persecuted thee. Thus hath
the Lord brought me and mine out of that horrible pit, and hath set us in the
midst of tender-hearted and compassionate Christians. It is the desire of my
soul, that we may walk worthy of the mercies received, and which we are
receiving.67.

Our Family being now gathered together (those of us that
were living) the South Church in Boston hired an House for us: Then we removed
from Mr. Shepards, those cordial Friends, and went to Boston, where we
continued about three quarters of a year: Still the Lord went along with us,
and provided graciously for us. I thought it somewhat strange to set up
House-keeping with bare walls; but as Solomon sayes,
Mony answers all things; and that we
had through the benevolence of Christian-friends, some in this Town, and some
in that, and others: And some from England, that in a little time we might
look, and see the House furnished with love. The Lord hath been exceeding good
to us in our low estate, in that when we had neither house nor home, nor other
necessaries; the Lord so moved the hearts of these and those toward us, that we
wanted neither food, nor raiment for our selves or ours, Prov. 18. 24.
There is a Friend which sticketh closer than
a Brother. And how many such Friends have we found, and now living
amongst? And truly such a Friend have we found him to be unto us, in whose
house we lived, viz. Mr. James Whitcomb, a Friend unto us near hand, and afar
off.68.

I can remember the time, when I used to sleep quietly
without workings in my thoughts, whole nights together, but now it is other
wayes with me. When all are fast about me, and no eye open, but his who ever
waketh’, my thoughts are upon things past, upon the awfull dispensation of the
Lord towards us; upon his wonderfull power and might, in carrying of us through
so many difficulties, in returning us in safety and suffering none to hurt us.
I remember in the night season, how the other day I was in the midst of
thousands of enemies and nothing but death before me: It is then hard work to
perswade my self, that ever I should be satisfied with bread again. But now we
are fed with the finest of the Wheat, and as I may say, With honey out of the
rock: In stead of the Husk, we have the fatted Calf: The thoughts of these
things in the particulars of them, and of the love and the goodness of God
towards us, make it true of me, what David said of himself,, Psal. 6. 5.2
I watered my Couch with my tears.
Oh! the wonderfull power of God that mine eyes have seen, affording matter
enough for my thoughts to run in, that when others are sleeping mine eyes are
weeping.69.

I have seen the extrem vanity of this World: One hour I
have been in health, and wealth, wanting nothing: But the next hour in sickness
and wounds, and death, having nothing but sorrow and affliction.70.

Before I knew what affliction meant, I was ready
sometimes to wish for it. When I lived in prosperity, having the comforts of
the World about me, my relations by me, my Heart chearfull, and taking little
care for any thing; and yet seeing many, whom I preferred before my self, under
many tryals and. afflictions, in sickness, weakness, poverty, losses, crosses,
and cares of the World, I should be sometimes jealous least I should have my
portion in this life, and that Scripture would come to my mind, Heb. 12. 6.
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and
scourgeth every Son whom he receiveth. But now I see the Lord -had his
time to scourge and chasten me. The portion of some is to have their
afflictions by drops, now one drop and then another; but the dregs of the Cup,
the Wine of astonishment, like a sweeping rain that leaveth no food, did the
Lord prep I are to be my portion. Affliction I wanted, and affliction I had,
full measure (I thought) pressed down and running over; yet I see, when God
calls a Person to any thing, and through never so many difficulties, yet he is
fully able to carry them #.rough and make them see, and say they have been
gainers thereby. And I hope I can say in some measure, As David did,
It is good for me that I have been
afflicted. The Lord hath shewed me the vanity of these outward things.
That they are the Vanity of vanities, and vexation of spirit; that they are but
a shadow, a blast, a bubble, and things of no continuance. That we must rely on
God himself, and our whole dependance must be upon him. If trouble from smaller
matters begin to arise in me, I have something at hand to check my self with,
and say, why am I troubled? It was but the other day that if I had had the
world, I would have given it for my freedom, or to have been a Servant to a
Christian. I have learned to look beyond present and smaller troubles, and to
be quieted under them, as Moses said, Exod. 14. 13.
Stand still and see the salvation of the
Lord. 71.

Finis.72.